My last entry was about my trip to Africa in August and how much I needed that time there. Since coming back from the trip I fulfilled one thing that I promised I would do: get my book in print. The paperback version of “Love of My Life: Memoirs of a Love Lost” was released in early October and made available on Amazon.com.
Editing for the print version was completely different than for the Kindle. When I was writing for the Kindle all of my emotions regarding Nick and our relationship were still very fresh. I remembered nearly everything he said to me and carried the impact of his love very close to my heart. When I started editing for print, it had been a while since I had consistently read Nick and my emails to one another. Re-reading all of that was like reopening a wound. I started reliving all of the moments we shared together and remembering all of the love we had. Sadness filled me all over again as I realized that I would never speak to Nick again and never fully experience our love the way I once had. It hurt so bad seeing all of his beautiful words that I thought I couldn’t finish editing for print. About halfway through it I remember breaking down in tears, not knowing if I could get it done; the pain of missing him was just too great. I did get the book done though and I am so proud of myself for doing so.
I do not know all that lies ahead for me and this book but I do know that I want to honor Nick for the good man that he was to me. True love is hard to find and the gift that I had in him was truly a miracle…
