Executive Producer of Malkia Entertainment

Posts tagged ‘hope’

The Love Day

Today is a day that people celebrate love and relationships. They’ll be dinners, gifts and sweet words shared. For many, this will be a day of joy. For some, this will be a day of sadness, thinking about the love they no longer have. Whether that loss is through death, a breakup, divorce or a strained relationship, the sadness is bound to be there.
Today I have a decision to make about how I choose to feel…
I had a wonderful man in my life; charming, handsome, kind, who’s no longer here. He died two and a half years ago in an accident at a soccer game. This man was the absolute love of my life. I had waited my whole life to fall in love and when I did, I fell hard and loved every moment of it. So when I learned Nick had passed away, quite naturally I was destroyed.
Fast forward to the Present:
So here we are on Valentines Day and I have to ask myself, “How are you going to feel?” This is a struggle for me. On one hand, I feel jealous of all those who have someone to love and share this day with. Yes, I know jealousy is wrong and I really am working on it, but this is a lingering emotion. I also feel cheated because I never got to spend a Valentines Day in the same room as Nick. We kept waiting and planning to see each other, until time ran out.
On the other hand, I get the sense that allowing these bad emotions to come out, will not bring out the best in me. Here’s what I mean: I could stay at home from work, lay on the couch and cry all day thinking about Nick. Would this honor him? I don’t think so. Self-loathing is not going to bring him back nor would it make me feel better. My second option would be to think about the good times that we had, be grateful that I had the chance to love a larger than life man, and then make the best of his memory.
So, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to remain positive today and develop a plan for my future. I’m going to push myself as hard as I can every day from here on out, to tell Nick’s and my story. Yes it will be hard, but I’ll force myself to make some good out of this, otherwise what will Nick’s legacy be? I don’t want him to die in vain.
So this is me, reaching to the top with all my might. I want the world to know about this great man, my man, who was famous in his own right. I will honor him; I won’t give up and drown myself in grief.
To all those who may be sad on this day, look inside yourself and make a decision on how you are going to live your life. Will your remain stuck in sadness forever or will you pull yourself up by the bootstraps and demand that you become a better person because of, AND, in spite of your pain? You can do it. I believe in you. Just take one step at a time.

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